Friday, September 12, 2008

I am weird..

I find myself very weird. I am so quiet that I am almost like a mute. Yet, this is happening to me when I see people whom I cant click with. I am just so shy. Usually, foreigners, ya them, I end up saying minimal to them.

What are friends for? To be used? It is sad to know that one girl asked me for favours. Yet when I needed her, she just didn't manage to help me. When I really help ppl, I try to do it for the sake of the person. Its out of my very own goodwill. Seems like nowadays nobody appreciates goodwill. The girl even forgets my name. I treat her with sincerity, she doesn't reciprocate, there won't be another time I would help her again (if she needs help again).

Because I don't trust people as much as myself, I develop a fear for meeting new people. I hate to be used. I am not a tool, and shouldn't be disposed of. I know some ppl who are really nice, but still I avoid ppl. Why? Not a risk taker, and also maybe I am becoming more of a loner! And egoistic person. I know myself pretty well?

Sometimes, I even feel lazy to talk to ppl. I have never like talking on the phone. I always wonder why people can chat on the phone for hours. Though I often chatted on phone for hours with a close friend in sec sch, until my ear turned red. Now, I've aged and feel that I dont have much to say. Even when I talk to ppl, I usually talk abt sch, proj..such boring stuff. Ya, I am boring, but what else can I say?

I am a too quiet person..


At 9/13/2008 9:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you can talk abt dramas, movies, idols, guys wf frds mah... btw, i cant find topics to tok to for ex-male project mates.. so i oni say hi then walk off.. or nvr even say hi at all...


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