Do I have any future?

What lies ahead of me seems to be bleak. Today had a welcome orientation talk by our School. Not only is it a waste of time, it gives me fear to be in this stream. Let me tell you, I am forced to study in this stream. i didn't get into the stream of my first choice. Thus ending up in here. However, one thing good is that my mum is happy about it.

I really have fear...of studying these chim stuff. I know I wont be able to do well. I know it now, even before the new term starts. With no interest in EEE, how am I able to cope with those disgusting modules? The boring textbooks turn me off, lectures bore me to sleep and competitive fellow students make me feel inferior. My little brain is too tiny to absorb those knowledge. Although I know, if I work hard enough I should be able to pass my subjects, and have seen many people succeed through hard work, I just cant convince myself to do that. Maybe its lack of determination. Not disciplined enough. Not ambitious enough. So far, I still haven't found out what my goal is in life. Pathetic?

It must be my bo-chup attitude, that let people think that I am the happy-go-lucky type. In actual fact, I am not. I care alot about my studies, but just unable to find something which is powerful enough to motivate me in life. I have been trying, but to no avail. Till now, I am still aimless, looking for something to guide me. How to move ahead? How?

i am quite sick of myself, being weak.

Fighting. (Weakly and sadly)