Week 5 of Work

I think what is most important in work is, having colleagues that can click with you, so that you can at least find fun in work instead of just working. Of course, if you have the passion in your work, it would suffice to make you happy, but something extra like nice colleagues can make your day even better?

This is scary, I've been here for a month. To put it in another way, there are 23 months left. I know I shouldn't be counting my days left. I really hope i can grow to like my job, as well as my colleagues. But its hard. I think I can nv bond with them, due to factors like age gap. I don't know what I can talk to them about.

I've told myself countless times I MUST learn to be outspoken. Am i any different now? No, still the same mute me. I guess its because, I can't really click with my colleagues, that is why its hard to be outspoken. If I can click well with them, I would be outspoken naturally with them, w/o forcing myself to do so.

It's sad. Very sad. I am quite disappointed with myself.

Week 4 of Work

It's close to a month. Yet I feel as raw as an uncooked egg. I think I am quite a dumb person. I can't think. My mind is blank when someone talks to me. Ask me eng|neering things, and most likely I wouldn't be able to answer you. So many times, I felt like giving up and just pay up for the bond break, but being a stingy and unwilling to part with money person, I held back. And also the disappointment my parents would have if I had given up, which I dont want them to feel that their daughter is a 窝囊废。 Thus I am still here, into my 4th week.

5th week is more scary. I must do it. But am I capable to do it? Haiz. I spend so much time reading on the net yet the result is still the same. I am very scared to let the person who hired me down.

Why am I so lousy?? God, please help me!