Sunday, February 28, 2010

It's my Day!

H@ppy Bir+hd@y to ME! I am 24! I am getting old! Woohoo, but my looks forever stays at 18, haha.

My wish is to do well in my job. Of course, I wish to find my signific@nt other, heh heh. Every year, I eat red eggs, so I become lazy in taking photo of them, so no pics of red eggs this year.

My present for myself is nail polish. I think I know what to get for myself next year, it would be a watch. Because recently I just bought one in Dec/Jan, that I can't possibly buy a new one within such a short period after I bought my first.

Last week's meeting, I got bombed by b0ss. Questioned by him, and all my ans are "don't know"s. Nvm. And about Bobby, he is 38 yrs old, I asked him last week. Haha. Actually my coy is not those stingy type, so I secretly feel lucky for getting in this coy as my first job.

Once again, H@ppy B!rthday, Jon, and hope to get surprise letters from admirers, haha, joking. Good luck and may all wishes come true!!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Doubts on Myself Again..

The doubt is back, whether I can be a good eng|nr or not. Every time I ran into a corner and get stuck, I begin to doubt myself. And I feel so stupid.

I enjoyed CNY this year, though I always say, CNY is the same as previous years, the festive mood, spick and span house and the long holi let me take my mind off from work. I care less about the red packts received, as I can make my own money, unlike when i was young student, I would take note who gave how much etc.

I heard, a distant relative, she should be about 50-60s. She and her husband married way before my parents had. So, its v long marriage. Her eldest daughter is even older than my bro. So I can assume that they have been married for about 30 years. Its only in the recent years, the husband started to drink beer and find women outside. He wanted to divorce his wife. It is said that the wife was so upset during CNY house visiting that she broke down when narrating her husband's misdeeds. How sad. The whole of 30 years of marriage is such a nightmare, regardless how they may have ever been head over heels (maybe) before? It must have felt like a 'end of a world' to her? 30 years of marriage, to be ended in like this? No meaning at all. The saddest thing is, she only realised he is a bad man only so long after.

日久见人心, but isn't 30 years long enough?

Sunday, February 07, 2010


I am very busy these weeks, that I can't catch up enough (on weekends) for the lack of sleep.

There are some Pre-CNY chores I have to do. Last week, I made pork floss rolls, and spicy mini scrimps rolls. I made 400 rolls in 3 and a half hours, I was racing against time. It has already become a 'tradition' to make them. All these were done by my mum, but since about 5-6 years ago, I started making them as my mum was busy working.

Yesterday, I cleaned windows, its a once-a-year-affair. Cleaned my fan, though I do clean them on a frequent basis, whenever dust choked up the casing of the fan.

Today, I tidied up the store room, the difference after tidy is not very big, but nevertheless, it is slightly better, at least things are not placed all over the place. Actually I feel very guilty today, because I shouted at my father, out of frustration, while tidying up. Sorry..

Then I climbed out of window, onto the area (not very small lah, and plus got metal railings) where ppl installed their aircon. That area is scattered with pillow cases, which had fallen from other ppl's bamboo poles?, underwear, many many cigarette butts, and many many cigarette butts on the pillow case, the ppl upstairs hoping to make the pillow case start fire, how evil! And many rags, papers, and dunno wad! Anyway, my father asked me to go beyond the railings to take the pillow case, but i think shouldn't risk my life, so i didn't. Instead, I use a pole to drag the pillow case to the railed area. Then, a lizard scrambled out from the pillow case, I jumped, and climbed onto the chair placed there. Phew, lucky I didn't go beyond the railed area, if not i could have jumped myself down from there...

And last night... sth weird happen. Around 3.30am, I woke up, duno why. Then I went into the abit slp abit not slping mode, means on and off slp but not slping. Then while I was in the on-off slping, I dreamt. I dreamt about some Jap actor. Then I heard some voices coming from my living room. Means I was partially awake partially dreaming. It was some male voice, I thought it was my father, but it was just some voice that I couldn't make out what the voice was saying.
THEN, I felt someone sitting on my bed, beside me, and a female voice talking, naturally I thought it was my mother, so I called (i dunno if I really called out but in my mind I did call out) out, ma ma, ma ma, meaning to tell her that I know its her. But then, the female voice is talking in which I couldn't make out the words, so its not my mum. So I opened my eyes, the voices stopped. I turned my head, no one is at my bed. Gosh, I tried not to close my eyes after that.

I dunno if the part that I heard voices is also part of my dream, but it seems so real cos immed afterI called out ma ma and realised sth is wrong, I opened my eyes, and there i was so conscious. The part on Jap actor is definitely a dream, but the voices seem not.